As I sat on the railroad ties shored up like bleachers at the playground of Max's private neighborhood school while he had "just five more minutes" to run around, I should have been focusing on the article on 'the realities of trafficked women' that was in my hands, but instead found myself looking around while a realization hit me, I was sitting next to two Asian women, an African woman, and three or four college girls...
Now you might be saying to yourself "well now Kate, that's not so strange..." but you see as I as looked around the playground it quickly set in that it wasn't that D.C. is just diverse, or that many of Max's classmates have young mothers... it is that they were all caregivers, babysitters, housekeepers... nannies if you will. And so am I.
Now, I have avoided that word "nanny" like the plague since I took this position of live in caretaker. It's not that I have anything against the word... or at least not that the word ever did anything to me... it's just that I don't really "believe" in nannies. Or do I? Because I am one.
D.C. parents too busy working and commuting and exercising and going to fancy dinners, galas, happy hours, etc. It"s all in the name of providing for their families... or is it? What about the children?
The same children who run up to women who are not their mothers when they need a band aid, a drink of water, or a shoulder to cry on...
Did any of you read the book or see the movie, "The Help?" Now on many levels there is no comparison of D.C. in 2011 to Jackson, Mississippi in 1950/60s. However... it does bring about the question: who do these children credit with raising them?
Don't get me wrong. My current situation is much different. I don't have Max everyday... far from it actually... and he sees me as more of an older sister than anything else, but... there are other children who from the time they wake up in the morning a woman other than their mother is responsible for their every meal, bath, laugh, and tear.
The conversation I had with my English language learners class the other day went something like this...
Student A: Women should be able to work real jobs just like men
Student B: What? No way! Women need to be home with the children and cooking and cleaning...
Student C: Well they can work a little bit, but not like men
Student A: Are you serious? Women can do anything men can do... sometimes even better!
Student D: If that was true... then why haven't we had a woman president?
Student E: Maybe we will... in this country... who knows!
Student B: No way! If that happens I will leave!
Student C: If women work a lot outside the house, then who will take care of the children and clean the house? A stranger?
Student A: Well the man could always do it.
Laughter
Student B: Women are supposed to take care of the children they give birth to... that's how Allah created us men and women different... men make money and women raise children, end of the story
Student C: I don't think it's that simple anymore
Student E: Yeah, me neither. I don't know what the answer is... because I think children need both parents... but children need a lot of money and other things too
Teacher/Me: Well... as you all can see from our discussion this is a complicated subject that has changed a lot in our current world and many people have different perspectives... right?
Whew! Talk about gender roles, culture, and stereotypes! Yikes!
From my observations, D.C. is full of nannies... there is a nanny culture if you will (i.e. sit on the railroad ties and wait for the kids while they're playing after school). I have my own thoughts on that...
But I also love Max! I am so glad to have gotten to know this family, and appreciate their generosity more than I could put into words! Max and I share a bond that few could understand... I am not/nor will I ever be/ nor would I ever want to try to be his mom, or even necessarily his nanny... but I do love that kid! And that's, after all, what kids need most, right? LOVE!
*Names have been changed to protect the completely innocent
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